Words on the cusp.

July 2nd, 2012 · No Comments · Private Musings

My husband Arachos arrived for the meeting, to the surprise of us all. After months of absence, here he was again, like a tempest blowing in out of the bluffs.

I was surprised to feel that his presence inspired both terror and joy within me. My husband is not a voluntary inclusion in my life. He was, for all intents and purposes, a means to an end and he represents a political paradigm of dominance and subjugation that I have struggled against ever since we Draenei fled Argus. I needn’t go into detail about that here. Suffice to say, when he left after a particularly virulent argument a few months ago, there was no love lost between us.

That is where I now find my surprise; that, after such bitterness has touched our lips, I could feel a pang of joy at all in seeing his face.

Perhaps I am far too unkind. He may have made me a prisoner within a marriage of convenience, but he is just as much a prisoner in his own right. He gained no superb advantage being married to an accused heretic, a Lorekeeper, a troublemaker. He has acquired no wealth, property, or title by his affiliation to me. It was not by his design that we encountered this fate. As a good faith gesture to my accusers, I agreed to wed. Perhaps it pained him to marry me, but he did it with little to no protest.

I’ve no doubt in my mind that a small corner of my heart has been carved out,¬†inadvertently, to care beyond an ordinary standard for this man’s wellbeing. Why that is so, given the circumstances of our sad arrangement, I yet have no idea.

Naaru guide me, and give me the emotional wherewithal to understand him.

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